Was I Made for This?

As a stay at home mom I can get wrapped up in thoughts about what I should be doing in the world for God. I feel guilty sometimes that I'm not out of the home involved in some kind of ground moving ministry. What is the purpose of my day to every day life as I fumble through 13 hours of day light just trying to keep Oscar fed and the house presentable enough to live in.
Sure I think raising Oscar is important but I should be raising him AND accomplishing some sort of feed the poor feat or raising money for helping woman in India or Africa.
But as I fight against where God has me I'm fighting against a purposeful plan He is designing in me.

Somehow I suspect the plan, my ministry being designed in me is for eternity and not for my time on earth.
What I'm learning is that when I abide in the vine (john 15:5) or when I abide in Christ and allow His life to flow through me even when I'm cleaning toilets I'm exactly where God wants me to be. I don't have to search for my purpose or for something to make me significant. God is the purpose in me and He is signifiant. He is doing a great thing in me in my everyday mundane chores. He is creating a purity in me while I loose myself in my "unimportant" daily changing diapers and boiling pasta.
"It is so different when it comes to Joy in Abiding. It does not come in through our search. It is a gift by virtue of being IN as part of the very source of Joy, the True Vine." mike wells
Jesus ministry started when he was 30 years old.
For 30 years the son of God walked past the crippled man on his way to his father's workshop. He did not heal from what we know he did not preach and He did not do great wonders and miracles.
God was meeting Him in His everyday life. His everyday chores God spoke to Jesus heart and their relationship deepend. I believe my ministry will begin in eternity. God is deepening our relationship, He is working out Himself in me through me while I work at the things I think are unimportant. He is developing an awareness in me that He is I Am~ and~ i am not.
My name is I am not. His name is I AM.


In whatever I am doing because I am abiding in the vine, shouldn't I be at peace and full of joy that God chose for me this day to stay in the house all day, to clean poopy diapers, to vaccum the mudroom three times a day after Oscar's escapades and to meet Jesus in the bathroom where I pull toys, toilet paper rolls, toothbrushes and makeup out of the toilet?
Somehow I have a hard time connecting between a purposeful life and my everyday chores.


While trusting God and His plans in me I've noticed something...
It is on my knees scrubbing lipstick off the kitchen floor that Jesus is revealed. A proud heart is exposed, a broken heart is revealed, a truth is known.. It is when I clean up after everyone in the house again and again that Jesus life fills every fiber in my body and comforts me that greater things are yet to come.
It is only here with my sleeves rolled up and my shirt over my nose while picking up Marty's "accident" that I can recognize that I have nothing to offer God except His son in me. And thank you Lord that I have Jesus in me to live for me, in me, through me.
It is not I but Christ in me the hope of glory. 
My ministry, my purpose is in Christ, He's working it all out for eternity.