Sunday, August 21, 2011

My Actual Healing Experience with Jesus

I've been out of my element at my parents cabin for a long period of time this summer. I was without modern conveniences which stopped me from getting my blog posts out.
I'm home now finally with Dave again and reflecting on all the sweet moments with my nephews, niece, brother Todd and sister in law Keri and mom and dad.

While praying this morning and asking God to reveal Himself to me today I couldn't shake the feeling that He wanted me to share an incredible experience I had with Him.
I've been reluctant to post this experience because in order to share the full spectrum of the story I have to reveal something that I'm ashamed of.

In my life years back I hurt someone that I cared about terribly.
I carried the pain and guilt in horror of my actions for three years. I carried this in agony and torture to my heart.
On the third year of carrying this sadness I had a life changing dream.
The dream began where I was at my parents house.
I walked out to the back porch and saw the person that I hurt so badly sitting on a patio chair by the pool  with their head in their hands crying so hard their body was shaking.
I ran over and my heart poured out all that I truly felt which was me saying over and over again, "I am so sorry, I am so sorry I am so sorry."
Then I saw clouds in the distance starting to come towards us. The clouds had the most beautiful vibrant colors in them. It was as though we were traveling towards the vibrant clouds but we were on the porch still.
We were standing at the edge of the porch looking at the clouds moving towards us and then we were traveling standing but now just standing out of the porch and traveling through the clouds. I could feel the wind on my skin and face.
We went right through the clouds and I could feel the clouds rush past my face with a woosh sound and below us were fountains full of water as far as the eye could see.
They were under us as we traveled above them. I kept hearing as if God were speaking to me in telepathy "fountains of living water". I looked over at my traveling partner and asked "do fountains mean anything to you?" I asked this because I knew they meant something but I didn't know what it meant.
My friend shook their head no and then sort of disappeared as I continued the journey by myself now.
I traveled over the overflowing fountains of living water for a while longer and saw in the distance those colorful vibrant clouds again. I was drawing nearer to them and finally flew right through them and felt the cool rush of wind on my face and the sound of woosh as I passed through them.

When I passed through the vibrant clouds I was in a big white palace. It was white all over and beautiful.
It was so similar to the picture above that Akaine painted.
(She claims that she had some experiences with the Lord in Heaven and this is one of the things she remembers seeing while with the Lord).
I was traveling through the palace still flying in the standing position when I saw Jesus further down in the palace and he was sitting in a big fountain of living water. I heard again, fountain of living water.
It looked like those pools in a palace that you imagine from King David's time.

He was sitting in the water and cupping his right hand and pouring the water over His body. I could see Him as I approached Him, He was pouring the water over his arm and chest....I remember the feeling I had was a jolt of excitement when I saw Him. I was overjoyed that I was going to Him.
As I approached Him He stood before me and I closed my eyes and tilted my face up to Him.
I'm not sure why I closed my eyes but thats what I did.
He put both hands on me...I want to describe how His hands held my face because it was such a tender and intimate touch. Both of His hands were on my face in the way that His thumbs were over my closed eyelids and his hand cupped my face on both sides.
Sort of like this picture but He held me even more severely than this. Like holding my face was holding the face of the love of His life. I can't explain it...
When He touched me I will never forget the feeling that zinged through my entire body. It was electricity and peace and love. He touched me and I felt weightless with love. Pure joy and love. I woke immediately in bed with a jump and still felt that zinging feeling of weightlessness and love. My body was electrified and I felt like I could feel the molecules in my very body vibrating with energy! I noticed as embarrasing as it is to admit, I noticed that I had actually wet my bed! I truly think I had a spiritual experience where my spirit was with the Lord. My spirit was in the presence of Jesus and my body reacted by the intensity of this amazing love that I wet my bed! Our bodies cannot endure an encounter with the Lord because of His holiness. John met with God in the spirit and many encounters in the bible that we read are in the spirit.
So when I awoke I immediately woke up Dave exclaiming that I had just been with Jesus. I pulled my bible off the night stand and looked up fountains of living water in the concordance in the back and I found a revealing verse.
Revelation 7:17
"For the lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes."
God literally lead me to the fountain of living water which is Himself, Jesus.
 I realized after reading this verse that He was wiping away my tears! He was wiping them away and telling me no more tears.
He forgave me and He wanted me to move on and to know that I was forgiven and in that moment with Him He healed me. When He placed his hands on my face and his thumbs on my eyes wiping away my tears he healed my broken heart and gave me permission to move on from the topic of my sin.
I was refreshed. I was rejuvenated. I was forgiven.

Jesus is the fountain of living water and the living waters endure forever. God not only forgave me but He loves me. He not only draws me to Himself but He holds me in His amazing pure love for me.
We are the love of His life. He draws us to Himself and He forgives us and heals us and embraces us in His unconditional unfathomable love.