Knowing Your Call

I love this picture of fireflies on a country road.

Nature blesses me so much, it reminds me of the mysteries and glories of God. It points to answers of my deepest questions about life and about who I am in God. Nature uplifts my spirit immediately and joins me in the chorus of praise with the countless saints praising at God's feet in the throne room. Yesterday Dave Oscar and I explored off the beaten path in the mountains. It was beautiful. At a special spot where the aspen trees were clumped together, the tall grass was dancing and a very large mountain cap sat behind the scene I closed my eyes, I could hear the trees and grass blowing in the wind, I could hear His creation around me saying "praise Jesus!" and I knew the angels were praising God in Heaven as I was and His creation all around was on earth.

As an "E.N.F.P." which is my personality type on the Myers Briggs personality test, I'm always contemplating my purpose, my contribution, my calling. I often ask God "what is the check list for me to arrive to who I am supposed to be, the person you made me to be?"
It's been a long humbling journey since I first started asking the Lord these questions.
It used to be more about myself than about God. I asked Him who I was and what was my purpose or talent for Him in order to know my importance and to build upon that in my lifetime and to accomplish great works for Him. HA! What a funny and immature thing to think.
I had ambition to know my importance to God and to His world when I was younger. I wanted to get started asap.
God brought me through a series of humbling  awakenings as well as small revelations through the years that brought me to my knees in recognition of His splendor, His awesomeness, His wonder, His majesty, His talent and importance and purpose, not mine...
There was a day when I was ready for it. After a few years of humility under my belt God had spoken to my heart that I was not but that He was.

I was walking on one of my favorite wood trails and I was talking with the Lord praising Him as we walked.
This particular trail was usually void of other people so I praised the Lord out loud and pictured us walking side by side.
When I stopped praising for a moment, I asked Him, "Lord, tell me something about yourself."
He said,  "I Am."
I heard it clearly, and powerfully.
The Holy Spirit in me cracked open a light that rushed through my body. I completely understood what He was telling me in that moment.
I almost jumped out of my skin and said "I get it!"
"YOU ARE I AM ARENT YOU LORD!" haha this is how I reacted. I just repeated what He said but I was so excited.
I continued on our walk babbling in awe of what He just revealed to me.
I said, "You are I Am which is everything, You are powerful, i am not but YOU are therefore i am!
You are wise, i am not BUT YOU ARE I AM, therefore i am wise because you are I Am.
Now it's harder for me to explain this moment we had on the trail on my computer but I went on like this going through everything good I could think of. God is I Am, I Am good, (i am not but He is therefore i am good because He is good)
I Am holy
I Am wise
I Am beautiful
I Am sinless
I Am powerful..........
On the other hand
i am not holy
i am not wise
I am sinless
I am weak but God is all of these things, He is I Am, therefore...i am. I would have been completely in awe and excited just about the part where God is all of these things being good and being EVERYTHING because He said His name is I Am, but He wanted me to understand that He shares Himself with me even by His very name. He shares the goodness of the Father Son and Holy Spirit relationship with me through His Son, His son being inside of me and therefore i am apart of their holiness and I being His daughter, I Am is my Father and I'm His little i am.
It's so beautiful because I Am encompasses ALL things. It covers everything.
He is all goodness and because He is therefore i am. Christ lives in me, He is all that is good, I praise Him and I can fall back on His goodness and His perfectness and be in Him all things.
Tozer says "The Son is of the Father alone, not made, nor created, but begotten. The Holy Spirit is of the Father and the Son; not made nor created, nor begotten, but proceeding." God exists in Himself and of Himself. His being He owes to no one. His substance is indivisible. He has no parts but is single in His unitary being.
So in learning that I am not but God IS, therefore I am because I am in Him, I look upon fireflies and a peace falls upon me.
The fireflies are created to shed light. They don't work at it they do not wake up in the morning and complete tasks in order to be full of light for their evening tasks. They're purpose is fulfilled through their creator. He has given them their light, they did nothing to earn it, only exist and in their existence God is glorified and their light shines.
I simply surrender to Christ in me, His life in me is glorified, His light shines, I simply exist and God is glorified in me.
I have no importance or talents. God has them and He in me fulfills His purpose and I get to fly around with my body lit up and experience the adventures of God. Just imagine what all this will look like in eternity.
Tomorrow I am going to type out an encouraging article that Mike Wells wrote about knowing your call.