"When the Road is Winding Way to Long"

Psalm 42:7-8

"Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy waterspouts: all thy waves and thy billows are gone over me. Yet the Lord will command his loveingkindess in the daytime, and in the night his song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life."

It's been a hectic and disappointing morning.

I'll spare you the details this time because I want to focus on what the Holy Spirit shared with me a few minutes ago. God so intimately and relevantly speaks into our hearts doesn't He?

As I was elbow deep in the muck of cleaning up after a busy beginning of the day and with a heart that was heavy for missing Jakey a song came on, You Deliver Me by Selah.

Its a beautiful song but as the artists sang out heartfelt words I thought, the Lord has delivered me from my own mistakes and sin and He has forgiven me and given me a crown, I'm thankful Lord, yet I want to know how you are delivering my family from this crushing heartbreak that we can hardly endure day after day.

I heard the spirit stir an emotional response of it's very own grief inside me, (grief for our pain). (Jesus wept when he beheld the sorrow of Mary from losing her brother. He was moved deeply. -John 11:33-38 ) 

.."My deliverance to you is moment by moment" I heard the spirit whisper in a way that told me the spirit inside me as well as the Father and Son are grieving with me, with us, with my family. He isn't far removed from the "sad story" of a 17 year old being shot and killed too early in his full beautiful life. The trinity is surrounding each of us in our tears in our sorrow in our dreams in our every moment delivering us so that we can take another breath so that we can love the ones around us and so that we can be apart of the "great dance"of life, the beautiful relationship between Father Son and Holy Spirit. 

The "great dance" of life isn't just a mere earth bound moment. It is the intimate relationship of Father Son and Holy Spirit and they together have a embraced God's children into the dance of life and love and harmony between them. Holiness is the very essence of the result of their love for each other and I have been invited into their oneness and holiness, into their experience of life. I've been reading a book called The Great Dance by C. Baxter Kruger. It has been eye opening and life changing.  I will refer to it a lot more in my future posts.

ANYWAY, back to what God was saying about His deliverance moment by moment...

The Lord was sharing with me that He is in it. He is in every moment with me. No moment is wasted. And He knowing my heart delivers me even when I don't realize it. He is carrying us through this. And in the process our relationship is deepened...moment by moment, day by day. God in the heartbreak is intimately and completely strengthening the bond between us. He is wrapping around me, with His strength string by string. I am the weak link and He in these moments in these deliverances in these beautiful weaknesses of mine is making us one unbreakable cord as a unity of oneness in our relationship. And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him.  A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.  Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV)

I like this verse but I also see the cord as a relational cord that I trust Jesus with this heartbreaking time in our life, and in the seen and unseen mercies I trust Him and in the process of the grief and in the process of Him wrapping around me we are bonded and united and we have a history of deepened relationship that in Heaven will be all the stronger. In Heaven the Lord and I will have a beautiful oneness that can not be broken. A oneness that was given through heartbreaking times on earth.

Our eternal relationship will grow from a deep intimate foundation from our memories and tears on earth.

God has opened up my heart to a new understanding of memories in Heaven but that is for another post. I rest in you Lord, "when the road is winding way to long, You deliver me.