A Stranger at the Mall

A couple weeks ago my mom and dad were in town visiting.
It was refreshing to have them here. There is always a void after they have to leave for home again. My mom flew in days before my dad, so we did all the fun girl things we could handle before dad arrived. Shopping, girl movies, talking over coffee as long as we wanted, eating the things we love to eat.... we enjoyed each others company yet with all the fun on this visit also came moments of grieving Jake and trying to wrap our mind around life without him, a future without his existence for the rest of our lives on earth.
It was wonderful to be with mom and it was heavy for both of us too. Bringing our heartaches together after grieving separately for 10 months brought on a new side to pain for me.
One day in the midst of one of these bittersweet days we decided a little shopping would do our soul some good.
Mom went into one store and I decided to go into another. I was so distracted while looking at the mall map that I couldn't find the store I wanted to visit. My heart was heavy in that moment and I couldn't concentrate.
Jake went to the mall with mom and I all the time. He loved being with us. He had a heart for his mother and sister. He would go into all the stores with us and we would go into his favorite stores. While looking at that map I was all over the place emotionally just thinking about how much I wanted to experience more of Jake's life than the time we had. He was still a baby, at least to me and I wanted to see him graduate, go to college, marry and grow deeper and deeper into his relationship with Jesus. I wanted to share in this with him.
I was staring, and getting nowhere. The mall at this time of day was empty. No one was on the second floor where I stood but out of nowhere in the corner of my eye I saw a tall man approach Oscar and I. I could see that he stood next to me waiting for me to notice him. Even without looking at him I sensed his smile.
He had a beautiful smile on his face and when I turned to address him he took off his hat put it to his heart and leaned into me closer as to give me his utmost attention and respect.
He was a tall strong older black man with the most welcoming embrace behind his eyes that I have ever seen in my life.
He only spoke a few words but it wasn't in his words that made me want to fall into his arms and cry the heaviness away. It was in the atmosphere around him. He was a beautiful man but his strength and beauty paled in comparison to this genuine love, concern and tenderness that exuded from him, it felt like the three of us were protected by it.

Nothing had changed other than this mans presence and yet my heart was uplifted and I just wanted to praise God.
He said "Can I help you find where you are going?"
Well, I wish I wasn't so struck with awe that I couldn't have a little more to say or ask him. I just giggled like a child and got out a mesmerized "oh, thank you so much, I'm okay."
I literally turned my head to the map for a second, no more than 3 seconds and looked back at him but he was already gone.
I'm telling you, there is nowhere he could have raced to that fast. No store anywhere near us was that close for him to jump into and hide behind a wall. We were in a lobby area on the second floor. No one at the mall on the second floor at this time and he disappeared within the time it took me to turn my head for a few seconds.
I was more than encouraged!
I felt like I was walking on clouds because I just knew my Abba sent an angel to encourage me in that moment. God knows our hearts and what we need more than we do. There have certainly been times that I would have thought ordained a sweet encouragement from a messenger from god even more than this time but this was the fullness of time for the Lord to send me a no question encourager. My spirit cannot deny it. FOr me it was uplifting and glorifying to the Lord because it lifted me up so much. I am still encouraged by it today when I think of this man's eyes and smile and genuine concern for me.
I think his question to me "Can I help you find where you are going." was a sweet reminder too that I may think I am floundering here with no direction right now but God is directing my steps. "A man's heart devises his way: but the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I do not understand God's ways. He's so awesome that my mind cannot even fathom the glory in his pinky finger. I don't know why sometimes little messages like this go such a long way and encourage such a deep pain but I praise You God for knowing what I needed and for your love for us.