7 years married. 12/13/03
It is our anniversary today yet unfortunately we had to spend today seperated from one another.
Dave is in Colorado and I am still in Florida.
It's been a heavy two weeks for me as I've been at my parents house awaiting a trial and deep in the muck of grief before Christmas and the anniversary of Jake's death so for me to set that aside and ponder on the past 7 years has been near impossible today. I sought out several moments to think and pray for Dave and for our future and our family but there was not a moment to steal for the celebration of our 7 year journey together. I'm grateful we will have the opportunity to celebrate when I return and not here in the midst of the sadness my family and I feel with the trial hanging over our head.
God has surprised me in my marriage almost everyday.
I have been blessed to experience a oneness and intimacy with a human being that reflects a oneness and intimacy that God desires to have with me.
I have been swept off my feet and giddy in love with my groom and I have been dissappointed and hurt by my groom in our 7 years.
One thing God continually reminds me of is Dave is not my all in all. He is not to fulfill my needs only God Himself can fulfill me. I will be dissappointed every time if I dare look to Dave to be super human and expect him to be my everything. I first look to God for my needs, for my desires for my identity and my wholeness then and only then will I be satisfied with my relationship with Dave. Then I can find an intimacy that is so pure and deep with my spouse that it is so obviously blessed by God. I will not bog Dave down with my expectations and rules and baggage.
Anyone that knows Dave and I knows that I am a feeler and He is a thinker.
Two of the most opposite personalities.
This got us into relational trouble quite a few times.
Being so opposite in our thinking has also brought some great material through the years to tease one another.
I look back on the trial times and wilderness times we have had in our marriage and I'm thankful to have learned through it. We know each other more intimately because of it.
In my relationship with Christ I see the wilderness times when I thought I was facing life alone or when the trials were heavy upon me, I see them as builders of faith.
If the hard times bring me closer to my beloved husband and deeper into Christ than I surrender to God's will for these uncomfortable times.
Psalm 104: 1-2
"Let all that I am praise the Lord. O Lord my God, how great you are! you are robed with honor and majesty. You are dressed in a robe of light. You stretch out the stary curtain of the heavens;"
Randomly I had a few words of encouragment I wanted to share before I close this post. I'm so tired and can't quite get out all that I wanted to on marriage but still wanted to share something I felt that I was supposed to share before closing.
God is uniquely purposful inside of you. His Word lives inside of you.
If you step back and give truth permission it will set you free.
The word that God used to speak the universe into existence continues to explode new life through Christ in you.
We are God's children and we have His glory inside of us.
Living through trials and hardships is time lived in the wilderness. You experience a depth of intimacy with Christ that would not be revealed in you while in comfort. The wilderness time is a time to fast, pray, seek God's wise council and to be still and trust the Lord in humility.
No comments:
Post a Comment